HTTYD One Shots
by TheBookRider
Summary: #3: Hiccup experiences weird side effects of having his wisdom teeth out, and Astrid has a hard time keeping him out of trouble.
1. Happy Birthday, Astrid

**Title: Happy Birthday, Astrid**

 **Summary: Astrid forgets her birthday, but the rest of the gang doesn't!**

 **Notes:** **Essentially, this mess was thrown together for an English writing assignment. It's not the best and it's TOTALLY dorky, but enjoy! :P To those who are not tech savvy, a key for the abbreviations follows at the bottom.**

* * *

"Coffee!" Astrid made a beeline for the machine she kept in the back of her music studio. She was dead exhausted from staying up until one in the morning the previous night watching all of the LOTR movies, and she needed the black elixir.

Her phone went off, and she fumbled for a coffee cup with one hand and grabbed the device out of her pocket with the other. It was Hiccup, her best friend since fourth grade.

Hiccup: _You can reply_ _ADN_ _!_

He had sent about five other texts beforehand.

Astrid: _Hello, Dragon Boy._

She set her phone downand safely finished pouring her cup. She put the pot back in the brewer and took a big gulp of scalding hot coffee. She kicked shoes off onto the mat she kept by the back door and wiggled her toes. As she wandered around with her coffee cup in hand, her phone dinged again.

Hiccup: _Abt_ _time. How was breakfast?_

Astrid: _BBR_ _:(_

Astrid sighed and plopped down onto the couch in her private room in the studio, remembering what was intended to be bacon and eggs, but ended up being a feast for her dog, Stormfly. Her stomach grumbled in protest at the granola bar it had received instead.

Hiccup: _Learn to cook._

It was so like Hiccup to say that. He could do anything, if he set his mind to it. Unfortunately, all of his ambition went towards writing. Astrid was still trying to talk him into learning the piano. He had the long fingers to do it, but none of the drive.

Astrid: _Thx_ _a lot._

Hiccup: _Welcome! :)_

Astrid rolled her eyes and kicked her feet up on the arm of the couch. Piano classes didn't start for another hour; she could relax. Her toe poked through the cloth of the couch into the rotting stuffing. The studio was in dire need of a thorough remodel. The paint on the walls was peeling, the music books were in tatters, and the piano looked like it had been used as a punching bag. But there was nothing she could do about it until she saved up more money.

Astrid: _Who'd you kill off today?_

Hiccup: _I don't kill off people!_

Astrid: _…_

Hiccup: _..._

Astrid: _What about your character_ _FKA_ _Eret?_

Hiccup was currently writing an adventure series and in the last volume, the main character's best friend had died. Astrid still resented him for it. She resented him for everything in his books, while the rest of their "gang" (which consisted of two crazy twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut, Hiccup's cousin Snotlout, and Hiccup's roommate, Fishlegs) loved his works.

Hiccup: _FYI_ _, he's not dead._

"Aha!" Astrid crowed. "I knew it!"

Astrid: _UR_ _THE BEST!_ _TY_ _!_

Hiccup: _I didn't say anything!_

Hiccup: _No, si-re! No, ma'am._

Hiccup: _Not a word!_

Hiccup: _I did NOT just give you a spoiler for the next book._

Hiccup: _Nope!_

Astrid grinned, her ploy for riling him up working quite well, and took another swig of coffee.

Astrid: _B3_ _, Dragon Boy._

Hiccup: _WTVR_

Astrid: _ROTFL_

Or perhaps more like rolling on the couch laughing.

Hiccup: _You won't be when I kill off Eret's little sister!_

Hiccup: _Btw_ _, you remember the alley where Drago attacked me?_

Two years ago, Hiccup had gotten attacked in an alley by the ex-crime lord of the city of Berk for defending an innocent gas station owner named Johann. He had lain in the alley for a whole day with a bullet wound in his leg before anyone could find him. He did get to the hospital, but lost the leg in the process. The very thought of Drago made Astrid's blood boil.

Astrid: _Idk_ _what you're talking about._

Astrid: _How, exactly, could I forget that?_

Hiccup: _Jw_ _!_

Astrid stretched, cracking her neck, and checked the clock on the wall. It was now ten in the morning. Why weren't any of her students there yet? It wasn't Sunday; once she had called all of them demanding to know where they were and it had turned out to be on a day there weren't any classes.

Astrid: _Why?_

Hiccup: _Well, I'm near the alley right now, and I'm in a bit of trouble-_

Astrid didn't read the rest of the message. She dropped her phone and ran to get her shoes. If Hiccup was in trouble, it meant something bad! He usually got out of tough situations by pure luck. She jammed her sneakers on and rushed out the car. A few seconds later, she rushed back into the studio.

"My keys! Where are my keys!" she shouted. "Ah!" She spotted them lying on the counter next to her coffee maker and lunged for them. Then she was out of the studio and speeding down the street. How could Hiccup be such an idiot to go near the alley? Who knows what could have happened!

"I'll kick anybody who's hurting him like the point after," she vowed, jerking the steering wheel to the left to make a sharp turn. "I'll knock their electricity out for a week! I'll-"

She didn't finish the thought, and swerved into a parallel parking spot near the alley. She jammed a _whole quarter_ into the meter, not caring that she was outrageously overpaying, and ran as fast as she could.

"Hiccup?" she yelled, rounding the corner and entering the alley. She was expecting to see him lying there, just like last time, but the alley was only full of trash cans, burger wrappers and cigars. No Hiccup in sight.

"Hiccup?" she tried louder, turning around. Where was he? Her panic spiked to a new high as she ran back into the street.

"You might try the restaurant across the street," a newspaper vendor nearby advised her. "I think I saw some suspicious characters go in there." Her eyes landed on the "THE GREASY BOWL". She threw a thanks over her shoulder and raced forward. The door banged open as she charged in.

"ANYBODY SEEN A SKINNY RED HEAD WITH A-" she shouted.

"SURPRISE!" the whole room screamed, interrupting her.

Astrid's jaw dropped in shock. Her piano students, Hiccup, her uncle Finn, Fishlegs, and Snotlout were all crowded into the small building, holding balloons and smiling like they had won the lottery. The tables were decorated with festive plates, punch bowls, and at the head of the largest one was a crudely labeled sign that read: "THE BIRTHDAY QUEEN".

"Happy birthday, Astrid!" Tuffnut and Ruffnut bustled into the room with a violently-colored cake.

"Close your mouth. You're not a codfish," Hiccup said primly, grinning at her.

Astrid shut her mouth with a soft clop. "This was all a hoax." Her piano students giggled and she glared at them fiercely. They quickly quieted down, knowing she would have them doing extra scales for hours.

"I thought you were in trouble, Hiccup!" she accused. "You said you were!" She brandished her phone at him as evidence. "Who's idea was this?"

Hiccup smirked. "I was in trouble. You weren't here to celebrate with us and I was getting lonely!"

"And it was my idea. Every time you hear Drago's name you go _berserk."_ Fishlegs, decked out in a blue party hat, looked mighty proud of himself. "We knew you'd come."

"And I must say!" Snotlout pushed his way to the front of the crowd. "You look gorgeous when you're worried, dah-ling!"

Astrid rolled her eyes. "It's my...birthday?" she asked hesitantly. She hadn't checked her calendar lately, so it was quite possible that she had missed it.

Chelsea, one of her younger students, huffed dramatically. "Only you would forget your own birthday, Miss Hofferson!"

Astrid turned to Hiccup, remembering his text. "You idiot! You had me scared to bits! I thought you were lying somewhere, in a pool of blood."

"There are kids in the room," Hiccup reminded her lightly.

"You could have-" she started again.

"SOOOOO," the twins interrupted, dumping their cake off onto a table and sliding into chairs. "Can we party now?" Ruffnut brandished a plastic knife, ready to dish out pieces.

"One more thing, then we can." Astrid marched up to Hiccup and socked him in the arm.

"Hey!" he protested. "I thought you were worried about me!"

"That was for scaring me. And this is for everything else..." She leaned forward conspiratorially. Suddenly, her eyes flicked to a large black shape in the corner of the room with a blue bow on it. "MOLDY MIDGARD, IS THAT A NADDER PIANO?" Her students dragged her away to investigate.

And Hiccup never found out what he was going to get for everything else.

Abbreviation Key

LOTR = Lord of the Rings

ADN = Any day now

ABT = About

BBR = Burnt beyond repair

THX = Thanks

FKA = Formerly known as

FYI = For your information

UR = You're

TY = Thank you

B3 = Blah, blah, blah

WTVR = Whatever

ROTFL = Rolling of the floor laughing

BTW = By the way

IDK = I don't know

JW = Just wondering


	2. Reindeer Ears and Yaknog

**Title: Reindeer Ears and Yaknog**

 **Summary: The gang gets together to reminisce about Snoggletogs of the past and Astrid challenges Heather to a yaknog drinking contest.**

 **Notes: Requested by Jokermask18. Contains Christmas spoilers! Be warned! And I haven't seen the HTTYD tv shows, so I apologize if I get Heather's character wrong.**

* * *

Astrid was regretting the reindeer ears. They looked stupid on her, but they had been only a dollar and added to the festivity of her Snoggletog tree in her living room, the over-sized and over-decorated evergreen wreath on her front door, and the sparkling lights around her windows. So the ears stayed on as she opened the door to greet the first guest to her Snoggletog party.

"Hello. Heather." Astrid smiled through thin lips. Heather Oswald was not her favorite person, but she was friends with Fishlegs and Fishlegs would be hurt if she wasn't invited.

"Cute reindeer ears," Heather complimented smugly, in Astrid's opinion. "They match your eyes."

 _"Thank you."_ To save Astrid from saying, "That red sweater makes you look like a fire hydrant! Did you do your Snoggletog shopping at the fire station?" the Thorsen twins, Ruffnut and Tuffnut, blew through like a blizzard. Right behind them a bored Snotlout Jorgenson trudged in the door, and Fishlegs Ingerman, bubbling over with enthusiasm, arrived. Each of them brought a bag of food goods and a white elephant gift. Hiccup Haddock, Astrid's favorite guest and best friend, arrived last, shoving a messily wrapped gift into her hands and turning as red as Heather's sweater.

"Oh," she said, surprised. "The white elephant thing is at the end. We're putting them in the middle of the table."

"For you, not the elephant. Merry Snoggletog," he muttered, not meeting her eyes. "Cute reindeer ears." From Hiccup, that was a good thing.

"Thanks. Can I open it now?" she asked, lightly shaking the package.

Hiccup, shy and not inclined to talking anything but short sarcasm, shrugged and stared at the thermostat on her wall. Just then, a crash came from the kitchen, not giving Astrid a chance to see what was inside the package. She rushed into the kitchen to see half of the contents of her fridge spread all over the floor.

"Oopsie," Ruffnut gulped.

"Snotlout will pay for that," Tuffnut told Astrid, nudging a carrot with his toe. She and Fishlegs groaned at the same time.

"I will not!" Snotlout protested. He had already taken a seat at her dining room table and opened a bag of potato chips.

"Clean it up," Astrid ordered the twins. It was their turn to groan. Wordlessly, Hiccup stooped to do the job, which spurred on the twins.

"Oh, you don't have to do that!"

"Cease and desist!"

Goop mopped up and salvageable food replaced in the fridge, the twins fell prey on the table. Poor Snotlout's chip bag was ripped out of his hands and devoured in three seconds flat. They had the appetites of tigers during the holidays.

Fishlegs made sure that they all got plates instead of eating straight out of the bags and Snotlout reluctantly showed them how to make a walking taco. Then, Astrid herded them into the living room. Everyone called dibs on the best couch, and Astrid shoved her dog, Stormfly, off of her favorite seat.

"These are the best chips ever!" Tuffnut praised. "You're a good cook, Astrid!"

"Those are store-bought," Fishlegs pointed out.

"So?" Tuffnut poked a fork into his walking taco. Hiccup had opted to forgo the taco, and picked at yellow nacho sauce.

"I don't think Astrid can cook," Heather remarked.

"I can to!" Astrid glared at Heather. Did Heather always have to make comments about her lack of ability to do something?

"We should tell stories about _Santa Claus!"_ Snotlout said through a mouth full of food.

Astrid wrinkled her nose. "Please tell me you don't still believe in him, Snotlout."

"Even if he took one second per country," Fishlegs informed them. "it would take at least two hundred and-"

"BLAH, BLAH, BLAH."

"How about the moments when we caught on that he wasn't real," Tuffnut suggested, a glint in his eye that said he and his sister had had a terrifying experience to relate.

"And I suppose you want to go first?" Heather asked.

"Of course!" Ruffnut rubbed her hands together gleefully. "T'was the night before Snoggletog and all in the house-"

"-nothing peeped, not even a mouse!" Tuffnut finished.

"That's not how it goes," Fishlegs pointed out.

"Get on with it. Cut out the dramatics," Snotlout grumbled. "By the time you two finish, I'll have written a biography on Santy What's-His-Nose."

"In a nutshell" - Ruffnut giggled at her own Snoggletog pun - "we put a little something involving stomach parasites in the cookies we made for Santa, set up a camera so we could televise our triumph to the world, and waited. Our parents threw up for the rest of the day."

"That's horrible!" Astrid exclaimed, shocked.

"I can't even believe they're biologically related to their parents," Heather muttered.

"Our parents think the same thing," Ruffnut confided. "Your turn, Snotlout!"

"Nothing much," Snotlout grumbled. "I just accidentally found a basketball in my parent's closet. By the way, I'm selling it autographed for fifty bucks – a steal, considering that it was the start of my career! Anybody?"

Silence reigned.

"Get it while it's cheap! A once in a lifetime deal!"

Heather snorted. "A deal. I found out the same way: presents under the bed."

"Fishlegs?" Astrid prodded. "How about you?"

Fishlegs took a bite out of a chip. "According to my calculations, it was impossible for Santa to be real when it came down to it. Figured it out when I was five." He shook his head. "I was so naive."

Snotlout coughed and the twins openly rolled their eyes. "I suppose you graduated from college at ten?" Tuffnut droned.

"Eleven."

"Eleven he says!" Tuffnut threw his hands in the air. "If I'd had known you were Mr. Smartypants, I would have come to you for test answers ages ago!"

"Like you haven't cheated on every test anyway," Ruffnut remarked snidely.

"I don't cheat!" Tuffnut adamantly denied.

Heather slyly grinned. "Would that hold up in court?"

"WELL HOW COME-"

" _My parents,"_ Astrid interrupted the escalating dialogue, "told me the truth when I was ten."

"BORING," Tuffnut booed, his spat with his sister forgotten as Astrid had planned. Snotlout heaved himself off the couch with great difficulty and went to get his third walking taco of the evening.

"I bet they had to bribe you with cookies," Ruffnut snickered. "No traps, rat poison or _anything?"_

"Astrid's not that creative," Heather said.

"Unlike some people, I don't want to kill my parents on Snoggletog!" Astrid huffed. Only the twins would slip their parents a Mickey Finn. "Hiccup? What was your method of extraction?"

Hiccup, who hadn't let a peep come out of his mouth, blinked like a deer caught in the headlights. He coughed as if to say, "Who, me?"

Even the twins didn't make a sound, afraid that if they made a wrong move, Hiccup wouldn't say anything for the rest of the evening.

"I never believed in Santa Claus," he whispered, staring into the depths of the remainder of his nachos.

"You poor soul," Snotlout commented, dropping back onto the couch and making it slide several feet back.

"Not really." Hiccup fiddled with the drawstring of his hoodie. "I'm not saying that Santa is evil, but when it comes down to it, Snoggletog is a time to celebrate the gift of family. We would go caroling, play games, and make cookies with way too much sugar in them..." He trailed off and melted into the couch. It was quite possibly the longest speech he'd said in his life.

Hiccup breathed a visible sigh of relief the he was done having to speak. His little speech made Astrid think for a second about what she was doing to remember her hoard of annoying relations.

"I'll drink to that," Tuffnut muttered, ruining the moment.

Heather, scrunched between Tuffnut and Fishlegs, elbowed Tuffnut, about the only good thing she did that evening according to Astrid. "You couldn't hold anything down even if you did." Even throwing an insult, she managed to possess the air of an aristocrat.

Tuffnut took personal offense. "You couldn't hold down baby food!"

"Heather can't even hold down her snide comments," Astrid mumbled.

Heather sat straight up and tossed her raven braid over her shoulder. "Would you like to repeat that to my face?"

"You two are killing my vibes," Snotlout complained. "Could you please settle your problem somewhere else?" He was on his sixth taco, with the promise of heartburn later.

"Vibes from indigestion?" Hiccup muttered.

Astrid glanced at him, surprised, then glared at Heather. "Would you like to have a little contest?"

"With pleasure!" Heather agreed.

Ruffnut and Tuffnut rubbed their hands in glee and leaned forward, not wanting to miss a single word.

Astrid stood. "I originally planned this for later, but I made a batch of YAKNOG!"

Collective groaning circled the room. Stormfly, asleep until that moment, whimpered, and Hiccup patted her reassuringly on the head. "Don't worry. They're all crazy," he whispered.

"I suddenly need to go to the bathroom," Ruffnut announced. "For the next two hours." Yaknog, composed of yak's milk, cabbage, and a secret non-alcoholic ingredient, was the all-time flop of Astrid's cooking career. No one would touch its container when it was in stock, as it was said it could cause paralysis in sheep.

Astrid grabbed her sleeve. "Relax, Ruff. Heather, I challenge you to a yaknog drinking contest."

Heather wrinkled her perfect little nose. "No, thank you!"

"Why?" Astrid arched an eyebrow. "Not Viking enough?" It was a low blow.

"Coming from the person wearing reindeer ears," Heather sneered. "You're on!"

Within a minute, the twins poured two mugs of yaknog and ferried it to the living room, each glass as far away from their bodies as humanly possible.

Astrid and Heather gingerly took their separate cups. "Three, two, one," Astrid counted. "GO!" The mugs were tipped back; however, not much yaknog was imbibed.

Heather choked. "ARGH!" Nevertheless, she continued to drink, matching Astrid chug for chug. She also matched Astrid stride for stride on the way to the kitchen sink.

…

Minus the Yaknog, Astrid enjoyed the rest of the Snoggletog party. Despite the horrible taste in her mouth and the turnings of her stomach, it was all worth it when Hiccup asked her if she was okay instead of Heather and the twins proclaimed her the winner, saying that she had gotten way more Yaknog down than Heather.

It was a Merry Snoggletog, full of friends, enemies, and stories. Astrid would remember the day forever – _after_ her stomach was pumped.


	3. The Pearly Whites of Wisdom

**Title: The Pearly Whites of Wisdom**

 **Summary: Hiccup experiences weird side effects of having his wisdom teeth out, and Astrid has a hard time keeping him out of trouble.**

* * *

Hiccup was high on anesthesia.

It was the time in every teen's life when a visit to the dental surgeon to extract four teeth, also known as "wisdom teeth," was necessary. Hiccup's procedure had only lasted twenty minutes, and Astrid was surprised when the nurse called her to the back room to collect him. Hiccup's mom being dead and his dad out of town on an unavoidable business trip, the task of driving him home had fallen on Astrid.

"Hiccup?" she asked the still figure. He was lying spread eagle on the bed provided by the oral surgeon.

He cracked an eye open. "Thhhhhh," he hissed.

"Sorry," Astrid whispered, taking a seat next to him.

"It's okay _not_. Forgives. The koala." Hiccup's words were slurred and muffled because of the gauze in his mouth. Astrid would have paid anything to whip her cellphone out to videotape, but video footage was forbidden until they stepped outside. She would be driving and wouldn't have a chance to at that point.

"The koala?"

Hiccup nodded sagely. "Yes. Needs sleep."

The nurse bustled back into the room, holding a clipboard and a goody bag of parting gifts. "Here's an ice pack for his jaw. You can heat it up when the ice stops working. If the area starts swelling, call us. Also, he can only eat soft foods like noodles, soup, and ice cream."

"Ice pack cream and swelling soup," Hiccup repeated dutifully. "Wait? What if..." he trailed off.

"Yes, Hiccup?" Astrid asked.

"The dragon," he concluded, obviously done explaining himself as he held the ice pack up to his jaw.

"The dragon what?" Astrid prodded.

"Eat meat." Great. Hiccup wasn't even using proper grammar.

The nurse shook her head. "I've never seen anyone get so messed up by sedation."

Astrid groaned. "You should have seen him after the surgery to amputate his leg. He thought he was a Viking in the middle of a battle with a huge dragon."

"Trolls exist!" Hiccup shot upright.

"Yes, Hiccup." Astrid stood. "Do I need to pull my car around?"

"That would be great." The nurse handed her a pack of paper. "This will tell everything you need to know. Be sure to give it to his parents. I'll help him outside, so don't worry about coming back in."

Astrid gave Hiccup one last look and then went to retrieve her car in the parking lot. She pulled it around to the glass doors. The nurse came out, supporting Hiccup. He stumbled like a drunk and goggled at the sky like he had never seen the color blue before. Astrid reached over across the passenger seat, unlocked the door, and pushed it open. The nurse helped Hiccup in.

"They steal thy socks, only the left ones." Hiccup preached to the nurse, jabbing a finger in the air like an enlightened man. "Guard thy sock drawers!" So Hiccup thought he was in the Middle Ages with a new pair of socks. Brilliant.

"I will," the nurse promised, slamming the door shut.

"Let's get you home," Astrid said, swinging the wheel around and directing her car out of the parking lot.

Hiccup suddenly gasped. "Thou! Thou kidnapper!"

"I'm not kidnapping you, Hiccup."

"Thou ain't?" Confusion rippled his face.

"No." Astrid pulled into the nearest Braum's drive-thru to buy him a milkshake.

 _"Welcome to Braum's. What can I get for you today?"_

"One medium vanilla milkshake, please," Astrid requested, glancing at Hiccup.

 _"Anything else?"_

"Trolls! Left socks!" Hiccup jabbed another finger into the air, proclaiming the good news he had just discovered to the world.

"Nope."

 _"That will be two dollars and sixty-nine cents at the next window."_

Suddenly, Hiccup gasped and pressed his nose against the window. "AH!"

"Hiccup, if you keep at it, you're going to rip out your stitches," Astrid warned, paying for the milkshake. She would get a refund from Hiccup later. "What do you see?"

"Dragons! Wow! Toothless!" Hiccup waved to an old lady who was eating an ice cream cone in her car. Unfortunately, Hiccup's and her windows were both cracked a tiny bit. The old lady shot him a nasty glare. Her dentures were on her dashboard, in plain view of the innocent Hiccup.

Astrid would have explained that Toothless was the imaginary dragon that Hiccup saw whenever he went under, but the Braum's employee had already given her the milkshake. Oh, well. It wasn't as if they would see the old lady again.

Astrid gave the milkshake to Hiccup so he wouldn't say anything else embarrassing. Hiccup spent the rest of the way home chatting about the prices of gas and Toothless. It was hard and frustrating to understand him because he kept using improper grammar and _would not,_ thank thou very much, finish a sentence. Examples included:

"Toothless only on top of the roof."

"Gas. _Two hundred and fourteen dollars!_ RIP OFF! Can't live under such conditions! Woo hoo!"

"Car's empty stomach. Feed!"

A lot of his remarks were punctuated by exclamations of "trolls!" and sagely nods. Astrid was exhausted from keeping Hiccup from trying to escape the car every time they came to a stoplight by the time they reached Hiccup's house. She grabbed the milkshake from his hand when he started trying to feed it to the grass and helped him to the front door.

Since Hiccup was in no mood to be of any assistance, Astrid dug around in his coat pocket to get his keys. She unlocked the front door and lead Hiccup to the couch.

"Now, you stay here, and I'll get you a blanket and pillow. Don't. Leave. The. House," she ordered, staring him down.

He stared right back after her with innocent green eyes. "Toothless?"

Satisfied that he would be preoccupied with Toothless, Astrid went to get the promised items. On the way past the kitchen table, she dropped off the remainder of his milkshake. She hurried up the stairs and went through trial and error to find Hiccup's room, having never had the occasion to be in it before.

Of course, it was decorated with large posters of dragons. She grabbed a pillow and his favorite green blanket. As an afterthought, she grabbed a hand towel from the bathroom to cover the pillow. If Hiccup started bleeding, Stoick would not want to clean the blood off of the pillowcase when he got back that evening.

"Do you want me to put your milkshake in the fridge, Hiccup? Or do you want to finish it now?" Astrid asked loudly, passing by the kitchen table again. Hiccup didn't answer or yell anything about Toothless or trolls, so Astrid assumed he had fallen asleep. She went to give him the pillow.

Hiccup was not on the couch where she had left him. "Hiccup?" Astrid called. Where had he gone? "Hiccup! I've got your milkshake."

No reply.

"I'll let you feed it to the grass."

Still no answer.

Astrid turned around, surveying the room. There weren't many places he could have gone. Astrid checked under the coffee table. Besides dust bunnies and cookie crumbs (being bachelors, Stoick and Hiccup weren't big on the whole _vacuuming_ thing), it was empty.

Then Astrid spotted the front door, which was wide open. She dropped the pillow and blanket on the couch. "Hiccup!" she ran to it and looked out. She shouldn't have left him alone when he thought she has a kidnapper! She rushed out into the street, looking up and down the block for a teetering figure. Stoick was going to kill her. Before he had left, she had assured him that she would be able to get Hiccup home safely. Out of character for Stoick, he had been pretty worried that something would happen.

"HICCUP, WHERE ARE YOU? I have Toothless!" she tried, peering into the car to make sure he hadn't hidden inside. The seats were just as she had left them. She even examined the trunk to make sure he hadn't locked himself in there. Hiccup wasn't behind the rose bushes in front of the house's windows either.

Such began Astrid's embarrassing yet frantic search up and down the street. She rang everyone's doorbell, asking if they had seen a loopy teenager holding an ice pack to his cheek. The answer was negative every time.

After thirty minutes of running and peeking into people's cars and backyards, she returned to Hiccup's house. With a sinking feeling, she picked up the handheld phone on the bureau next to the front door. She dialed Stoick's number.

 _"Stoick Haddock,"_ he answered.

Astrid sighed. "It's Astrid."

 _"How's Hiccup? All the teeth out?"_

Astrid sighed again, debating how to tell him. "Well..." The sound of snoring from the living room cut her off. She muted the receiver against her shoulder and stepped into the living room. Hiccup, snuggled underneath the blanket without a care in the world, was fast asleep on the couch.

 _"Astrid?"_

"He's fine," Astrid said through gritted teeth, even though she couldn't really blame Hiccup. "He's knocked out cold." A snore louder than the rest punctuated this remark.

 _"You're not the one who knocked him out, are you?"_ Stoick asked.

Astrid was shocked. "Of course not!" Why on earth would he think something like that? "It was the pain medication the nurse gave him before we left. You know how he gets."

 _"Just making sure. Tell him I'll be home by ten."_ Stoick wasn't one for sentiment.

"I will." Astrid hung up and glared at Hiccup, debating whether or not she would wake him up to tell him exactly how mad she was. Seeing as how she didn't want to hear about trolls _or_ Toothless again, she only put the pillow and towel beneath his head.

Astrid gave him the traditional farewell of their friendship. "I'll see you later, alligator." She made absolutely sure that the house door was firmly locked behind her. A nagging feeling in the back of her brain made her tilt back the front seat in her car and relax for a little nap, just in case Hiccup decided to take a stroll.

Stoick would come home that night wondering why Astrid was snoring in her car on a camp out in his driveway, and why the potted plant in the living room had been watered with a vanilla milkshake.


End file.
